Collaborating is tough sometimes. On the one hand, it can be a rich experience to bounce ideas around with bright, innovative thinkers who offer various perspectives. On the other hand, it can be maddening as you make sure communications are clear, and keep checking that what was said was understood similarly by all. Let's face it, as individuals, we speak, understand, and remember very differently, using our own unique styles. We have to share these differences often, reiterating what we know we've already told people to encourage remembering and accepting of these differences.

I recently embarked on a project with two colleagues for whom I have great respect and like very much. We were all excited about the project and knew what we wanted to accomplish. We even had a reasonable sense of what it would take for us to get there. Along the way, we identified the competencies that one or another were good at and subsequently took on enthusiastically. There was a solid trust that each of us would contribute equally in one way or another, so we didn't have to keep track of who was doing what, as long as we were making progress towards our well-defined goal.

As with any project, as the end drew near, the heat increased. Facets of each task became more complicated; outside vendors promised things without fully comprehending our requests; details emerged that we hadn't anticipated; individual responsibilities on other projects required more time and energy than was foreseen rendering less time for the completion of our joint endeavor. Along with this, fatigue set in, illness occurred, and tempers flared. It was then that I found myself saying, "Hold it. Take a time-out and find your balance." I did this first and foremost for myself. For me, this is a much-practiced exercise that I have facility with and have learned I can depend on to generate great outcomes. Once I regained my center, I re-aligned myself with the goals of the group and re-dedicated myself to the successful completion of the project. The result? Our delivery was well-executed, generously appreciated by participants, and resulted in several follow-up requests for future services.

What was clear to me was that we needed to celebrate our success and re-visit our earlier difficulties that we had not yet addressed. This, as might be expected, was more challenging to achieve. It took a steady openness on my part to broach the subject of our earlier conflicts and enroll my colleagues in taking the time to re-examine them. After all, one could reason, we completed our project successfully, so why open up old wounds? Why? Because if we don't, the wounds will fester and be twice as virulent the next time conflict arises. Collaboration through the rough spots with a team takes a willingness to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a persuasive escort to a new level of allowing and accepting oneself and one another. Sharing this vulnerability renders crisp resolution time and time again. The first step for me was to speak up—from an inner place of neutral, without judgment or attachment—and state what I knew to be true. As we all did this, it opened the door for honest communication and movement towards resolution of the underlying density that had built up. It's part of being human, this density. Once it's identified, we can find ways towards resolution and generate solutions for minimizing future conflicts. The time we take to admit our challenges, forgive our differences, and create compatible resolution feeds the strength and resources of the individuals and the team. It's a journey along the higher river, where profound coherence abides and sustainable transformation ensues.

This reminds me, once again, that collaboration is tough, takes more time and effort, and is absolutely worth it!