A friend of mine in the final stage of being ordained as a Presbyterian Minister (candidate) tells a story about one of her early presentations before the governing body.

She spoke to them about growing up in a Presbyterian church where Rev. D. was the pastor. She remembers thinking of this pastor as a big, imposing figure who stood on an elevated pulpit and spoke with a loud, booming voice. She told the audience that she didn't remember what he said, but his delivery sounded serious, dangerous, and intense.

At the end of her presentation, the audience was permitted to ask questions. After answering a few initial questions, my friend saw a hand raised way in the back of the audience. Despite not being able to see the person's face, she acknowledged him. He stood up and said, "Hi, I'm Rev. D., your childhood minister." She had to pause through the roar of audience reaction before she threw out her arms and welcomed his input. He then asked her, "So what do you think is more important for a minister, a booming voice or the theology behind what he says?" Although the Reverend's question was intended to generate fun and connect with my friend in a gracious, supportive way, his point is well taken, and it can be applied to any form of leadership.

How we deliver our message is every bit as important as what we deliver—sometimes even more important.

I'm in the process of delivering a series of difficult messages to various friends and acquaintances in my life. Before meeting with these people, I've had to sit with myself and simply feel the feelings. This pushes me to know what is important to me first and foremost, and then determine the best way to share my message with each individual. In the process, I grapple with my ego to eliminate it's destructiveness, amplify my commitment to sincerity and belief in my own goodness, and ultimately stay true to my intended outcome. I feel humble, confirmed, and grateful for the lessons I am learning both about myself and others. Although it's not a booming voice with which I deliver my message, my tender, authentic voice is every bit as important as the message itself.